Today is a new beginning for me; I am starting a new job at The Housing and Urban Authority for the County of Fresno. I had mixed feelings about this job; I was just not sure I would fit in with their office culture, politics and the drama associated with government jobs. Yet I was excited about the opportunity, this job allows me. I will no longer be drawing unemployment; I can catch my bills up, and be covered with Medical Insurance.

I was supposed to report to Orientation at the Main Office Building downtown. I arrived early to allow plenty of time for parking and make the walk from the parking lot to where Orientation was held.

As I entered the building, there were no signs of activity in the foyer. In the main entrance there was a bullet proof plate glass partition, behind which was seated the receptionist. There were no phones located on either wall outside the glass partition; I obviously could not inform the receptionist of my arrival.

I pulled the Orientation Letter out of my packet which had arrived less than a week ago. I looked at the letter and read the instructions which indicated that I should report to Conference Room A located directly to the left of the main foyer.

I thought all these things were odd, but I tended to ignore these inconsistent details and immediately proceeded to Conference Room A. As I entered the room I was greeted by a big sign sitting on a large table at the entrance to this room. On the sign was posted a list of names that would be in attendance. The final instruction was to sign the Attendance Sheet located directly below the big sign. As I started to sign my name, I noticed that I was required to write my arrival time. I did this willingly even though these oddities were really starting to bother me. I just kept ignoring them and continued to put them out of my mind. I was further instructed to locate my seat where a name plate had already been placed.

The table arrangement was configured into a large U shape, with the chairs placed on either side of the tables. As my eyes scanned the tables I quickly found my name plate, only to realize that my name had been misspelled and incorrectly printed on the plate. Once again these annoyances were starting to add up to me creating within me bad feelings towards the Housing and Urban Authority for making me feel like I was nothing more than a robot whose patience and feelings were certainly being tested on my first day of employment.

I was beginning to feel I was a mechanical robot, whose buttons were being pushed to maximum capacity. I decided to swallow my pride and quickly seated myself at the table where I found my misspelled name plate. Within fifteen minutes the room started to fill with other new hires; I supposed their names were on the list too, hopefully their names were spelled correctly.

When I finally calmed down, I noticed there was no lectern at the front of the table arrangement, or an Orientation Specialist present, here again was another inconsistent oddity that was really starting to unnerve me. It was at this point I was willing to walkout and call it quits, but again I put this thought aside. Then I realized that I might be sensitive, since I had not worked for the last three months. I must be out of touch with how; the Housing and Urban Authority used this new modernistic impersonal way the conduct Orientation.

Somehow I just could not get the oddities and peculiarities out of the back of mind. I kept thinking every Orientation, I have attended always had a Human Resource Specialist present.

Then at exactly 9:00 A.M. the screen dropped from the ceiling followed by a voice resounding throughout the room from the speakers located in all four corners explaining that on the table in front of us was the Agenda for Orientation and to please follow along in the book in front of you entitled The Guide for Continued Employment. This guide is written to make all employees aware of the Rules and Regulation currently in effect for “Continued Employment. Please turn to page one. I turned to page one, and then the slide show began to appear on the screen. The instructions on the screen suggested that we should follow along in the guide, as the slides were being presented on the screen. The slide show continued to progress through each rule and regulation, when I noticed that each rule or regulation had, an infraction number code on the bottom right corner of each page.

I was a little surprised by this Orientation process, and several code infraction numbers caught me by surprise: For Example, Code # 002564, Company Dress Code-Women Only, are expected to refrain from wearing the following; Halter Tops, Tank Tops, Blue Jeans, Capri Pants, Hip Hugger Pants, Thong Underwear, Sleeveless Blouses, Open Toe Sandals, Tennis Shoes, and Flip Flops. If I chose to wear inappropriate attire, I’ll be sent home and docked the time it takes me to change my attire and return to work. No makeup time is allowed. If I receive three infractions in one month I will be suspended without pay for one week and an infraction report will be sent to Human Resources and placed in my Personnel File. On the fourth infraction I will be sent an E-mail to report to Human Resources, to pick up my Final Check, I’ve been FIRED.

Code # 002396-Attendance Policy: All employees are expected to sign IN and OUT of the Attendance Log Daily, as roll call reports are E-mailed to the Main Office every day by 8:00 A.M…If I fail to call in by this time, it results in an unexcused absence, or tardy, for reporting to work after roll call has been forwarded to the Main Office. Three unexcused absences results in an infraction report sent to Human Resources and placed in my Personnel File. An automatic E-mail is sent to inform me I’ve been FIRED.

Code #002397 A&B-Paid Time Off and Annual Leave Time: It is the Housing and Urban Authority Policy, that all PTO and ALT must be requested on the proper form one year in advance of the date for time requested. If I fail to report to work for unforeseen circumstances I will be docked pay and the absence is counted as a tardy. If I incur three infractions, the automatic E-mail will be sent and to inform I’ve been FIRED.

Code #134068-Company Computer Usage: The company computers are designed for the employees to better perform their job; it is inappropriate to use the computer for INTERNET SURFING, looking up CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION for Family and Friends or visiting inappropriate PORN Web Sites. These infractions are grounds for IMMEDIATE termination and I will be FIRED. The E-mail follows to tell me to report to Human Resources and Pickup my Final Pay Check.

Code #116377-A&B-Job Performance and Evaluation 90 Day Probationary Period: Quota requirements of performance need to be at 90% each month qualifying new families with low income for affordable housing, and Quota performance requirements need to be at 98% for annual recertification for the Housing and Urban Authority each month. The combined effort for new families and continuing families need to be at a rating of 100% or more each year, or HUD funding would be temporarily suspended and the Housing and Urban Authority will be in a Sanctioned Status for one year. Any infractions in this area means, a written infraction report will be sent to Human Resources and I could be FIRED, for failure to meet job requirements. Human Resources will then send me and E-mail to report to pickup my Final Check!!!

The final slide presented was that all new hires were required to memorize the Rules and Regulations in the Guide for Continued Employment, and would be tested each month to maintain high standards. Code #862501, requires you to achieve a score of 80% or better, and I will be FIRED if I fail to do this.

I came away from Orientation with a splitting headache. I only had fifteen minutes to report to the Supervisor, or I would be considered tardy, Code #002658, tardy infraction reporting late from a meeting. I had to hurry. I arrived with two minutes to spare. I was shown my cubicle, and given an instruction manual How to Determine Eligibility for Low Income Families and asked to memorize this from cover to cover. There would be a test on this material next week and you need a score of 80% or higher or I could be FIRED.

I knew when the slide show was finished I would be in real trouble. Don’t get me wrong, I am not lazy or a slacker; I am too detailed in my work and care too much for the people I am trying to help. I really needed this job and this was my biggest concern. I realized I did not fit the “Cookie Cutter” image that was required to maintain Continued Employment, with the Housing and Urban Authority.

Every day I checked the Classified adds in the newspaper and sent out resumes for jobs each night hoping I would get something lined up before I was FIRED.

On the last day of the Ninety Day Probationary Period, I received the infamous E-mail that told me to report to Human Resources and pick up my final check. I knew I was being fired for Infraction Code #116377-A&B-Failure to Meet Job Requirements within the Ninety Day Probationary Period.

I was not sad about this turn of events; in many ways I was relieved that I no longer had to be a little wind-up robot which was programmed to meet all the Rules and Regulations in the Guide for Continued Employment. I was finally free to be human with feeling and purpose. I was finally free to be just me!!!