For San Juana de Jesus Solis

by Virginia Sage Vindiola
Honorable Mention, Poetry
My child falls to the earth when the news hits her ears
Suddenly everything has changed in her 15 year old world
She no longer knows pure innocence-
San Juana died yesterday in a car accident
Stuttered her fearful friend over the phone
She now knows death
Who is this girl? I've never heard you speak of her before
A girl on my basketball team, we warm up together

Immediately I try to comfort my child in a loss I know all too well
I take her entire catechism class to the church to pray a rosary
Can we get confession?
What a brilliant idea
Yes, does anyone want to confess their sins?
Suddenly the children fall into a scary silence
They sit and they mourn but they do not yet have a deep connection to
what has really happened
Everything is about San Juana now, everyday
Friday night's home game had a moment of silence
Korina's white jersey was soaked in sweat and salty tears
She didn't want to talk, she just sat there in the car...sobbing
So confused on what to do my husband reaches for her weak arms
Initially resistance
Soon -falls into her father's firm hold
Why did this happen? It hurts so bad! I can't imagine how you feel Dad.
Forgetting his own loss of his murdered mother, he remains her pillar
Our little town becomes consumed with fund raisers -bake sale,
t-shirts, a car wash
How do you budget for your 16 year old daughter's death?
You don't
My pillar of a husband took Korina to the rosary
Shedding tears for both San Juana and his mother he soon realizes he
isn't strong enough
He couldn't bear this loss if he had to
Korina attended the funeral with her team, an experience she suffered
through without us
Skipping the burial, she later hears of the shrieks of Vidi
No, I can't leave my sister. No, I have to stay with her. NO, NO, NO, NO!
I come home to find my daughter curled up in a ball, covered up by the biggest blanket
With the same salty tears still running down her face
She falls asleep while I run my fingers through her uneven hair

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© 2013 Fresno City College—The Review / Ram's Tale is a publication of student writing and artwork from the Humanities and Fine, Performing and Communication Arts Divisions at Fresno City College. Authors retain all rights to their work.