skilled monster
you scatter masses
by the mere appearance
of an ungodly antenna

your power to startle
rivals the green Godzilla!
but you pour it
from a jagged brown bottle
of inverted stature

what the lizard did to buildings
you do to entire restaurants
with dangerously tiny tentacles signaling
Sayonara

oh terrible shelled surprise!
imagining your cocked head
sticking out from a spoonful
is enough to--

unholy rendezvous
to spot you on the tile floor
your six sticky legs about to carry you
too quickly too close

or worse! to lose sight of your glazed back,
the teeming legs--
crawling Houdini, are you creeping
under the counter or burrowing
into the cupboards

or worse! sneaking over my sandal
to stage the sudden
--prickle--
the latching on of something
six-legged and smarmy
scaling bare skin--

I’d rather you be burrowing into
the cupboards, seeking sugary, veiled sanctuary
inside a bag of cereal
ready to ruin Cocoa Puffs for me forever
in the morning

but, formidable phobia
if you fear becoming the bulls-eye for my foot
scurry away assured
I would not go for that satisfying crunch
but rather sprint to escape
the alienating stomach’s churning
you effortlessly stir

to Fear Factor I wager--
not one figure of civility
basic instinct’s divorcee
not a calm Obama, unattached Dalai Lama,
or interested entomologist

while scanning the bathroom floor
could notice a suspicious black outline
and then notice another
and another
and another--
and not run shrieking
mid-pee, half-naked
out the door

leeches maggots cockroaches all
shock humankind from Muffet’s pedestal
for this I applaud--
bravo