In a neighborhood, there was a two story house on a corner by a fire hydrant where the sun burned areas of grass on the yard. Compared to the other houses, this house stood out just a bit to look unnatural. The house had an old crusty feel to it, and it looked as though it was trying to fight time like an aging woman. This house was the loudest house on the block, and inside this house there was a large family of seven women.

Enerria was one of the seven females in the household, and she was the complete opposite from them in every way. She felt that her mind was uncontrollable and too complex for any average human to sustain. Enerria lived with her grandmother, her aunt and her aunt’s four daughters.

Enerria looked like she was the most intimidating person in the house; she was the tallest and strongest. She was overweight and carried the same burden of being obese as most of members of the household. Enerria loved to pet her older cousin’s dog Lulu, a small Terrier mix.

Recently one of Enerria’s cousins moved out, which made everyone thrilled that there was one less female in the house. “Lulu,” Enerria looked down at the dog and smiled, “This is the home of the Amazon where everything and everyone is a female; even all the animals here are females. I bet even the furniture in the house are female.” Enerria chuckled to herself.

While lying on her bed petting Lulu, Enerria looked around at the cluttered wall full of caution tape that she had found or taken around her town and pinned up vertically like the bars in prison to cover up the disgusting barf looking pink paint on the walls.

The bedroom had two windows with a black thin curtain that you could see through to the patio on one side and the backyard through the other. A large star shaped piñata hung in the corner by a small hook on the ceiling of her room next to her closet. Nets that she had collected from every Christmas tree they had are hung over her bed holding up a year of balloons that expressed every holiday. The wooden floor was hidden by a mask of shoes, clothes, and paper from school. On the front of the door Enerria had posted a sign that said ‘I don’t drink, I don’t smoke; I wasted my life on education.’ Because her family felt reassured that she chose to not drink and smoke, they didn’t bother her as much.

“Enerria! Enerria! Come here now!” the thunderous voice continued and grew from the hallways reaching and pulling its way toward the door, squeezing and leaking through the tight spaces to lunge and grab a hold at who ever it was searching for.

“Huh? What do you want, Boniest?” Enerria mumbled deeply in annoyance as she left her room to seek out whoever had called her.

“Oh, I just wanted to let you know that you are watching us,” Boniest smiled, agitating Enerria with the thought of babysitting her nine year old twin cousins against her will.

“Why am I watching you? Where is everybody going? How come they assume that I don’t have any plans of my own? Why doesn’t anybody ask me anything? They can’t just make decisions and expecting me to follow them!” Enerria roared.

“Well you’re watching us because the old folks are going out to bingo because it’s Friday, and Tammy is leaving with her friends—again—so you have to watch us while everyone leaves.” Boniest said, standing her ground with her hand on her hip and an attitude in her eyes.
 

Landing over on the arm of the couch to a glaring contest at the front door, Enerria watched how everyone exited the house. Lulu came over and made herself a place to lie next to Enerria’s feet on the floor. Two loud honking noises vibrated the house and a voice from outside yelled, “Tammy, we're outside.” A steady pair of thumping feet rushed down the stairs. “Here comes Ms. Jolly”, Enerria whispered to Lulu and stopped from glaring at the door to look at Tammy who reeked of a bushel of fun.

Tammy was five years older than Enerria. She was small with an athletic body that she earned from skating and being so energized with her friends. The more she left the house, the more everyone seemed to isolate her.

“I’m not going to get back till late so leave the front door unlocked for me. Ok?” Tammy smiled. “I’m going to the movies with my friends.”

Enerria just sat in silence on the couch with a bitter look on her face. Her eyes started to pinch and tear through Tammy’s mask and a more familiar face had appeared. Tammy’s expression of joy started to shatter, releasing nothing but tension and anger.

“What did you expect me to do? Stay here with you? You allow yourself to get stepped on. You don’t speak up for yourself and everyone feels they can do whatever they want because it doesn’t take much to make you do something that you don’t want to do. A closed mouth never gets fed. Don’t get mad at me for having an escape plan.”

Enerria turned her head away from Tammy in disappointment.

“I’m sorry that you are left behind, but there is nothing I can do. I don’t think that the kids will be bad this time; they’re behaving well with each other now and grandma and my mom will be back soon.” Tammy smiled, relinquishing the tension that she had given off.  “Don’t kill anybody; I don’t want to come home seeing any missing kids and a shovel in your hands.”

Enerria smiled slightly—DING! DONG! The doorbell rang so unexpectedly, giving Tammy and Enerria a small shock through their senses. Tammy opened the door and a tall pale man with banana-colored hair came through the door, lifting Tammy in the air swinging her around, bumping her against the furniture. “We’ve been waiting for you,” he exclaimed. Enerria frowned in the worst way, looking at this male in her presence. The unfamiliar face started to reform Tammy and she left the house looking easy going and full of energy.

12:45 in the morning and Enerria was sitting on the couch with Lulu looking over the living room waiting for her family to return. Lulu had been looking thinner each day from last month. The twins were passed out on the floor covered in glue, paper clips, and cereal; there were blankets, pillows, and shoes spread out on the floor. Watching her little cousins she saw the difference in them. You would never have known that they were twins, not unless someone told you; they were different by physical appearance and personality. Boniest was ill thin with a birth defect, extra layers of thick hardened skin that deformed her index finger from her right hand up to her underarm. Daria didn’t have a birth defect, but she was heavily obese.

The television was showing Tom and Jerry and all was pleasant. A car pulled up and yelling had ripped the silence that was held by the darkened skies. A car door slammed and harsh screaming was being thrown back and forth at each other. Tammy burst through the front door and right behind her was that same banana head man. He tried to grab at her, but missed.

“Get out of my damn house!” Tammy yelled. The kids were startled. Enerria sat frozen on the couch. Lulu jumped off the couch barking and howling at the door.

“We’re not finished yet; you can’t end the night like this—let me in the house—let me in now!” The ripe harsh smell of liquor from the man had gotten through the door; he struggled and tried to wrestle himself in the house.

“Enerria! What are you doing? Help me! Call the cops! Do something!” Tammy struggled to catch her breath while trying to shut the door on the intruder.

Enerria’s heart was pounding and she was in total shock; she could hear the twins starting to whimper, but she just didn’t move.

Tammy was getting exhausted and could barely hold off the door any longer while Enerria sat there stiff and rigid. Lulu squeezed and snuck through Tammy’s legs and started attacking. Her canine teeth bit and tore and shredded the man’s pants, going through his flesh. The man yelled in anguish and retreated back to the car where his drunken friend was waiting. Lulu followed, claiming her territory. The dog ran back to the house, very proud, wagging her tail as she entered.

Neighbors were peeking through their windows, turning lights on, and watching the car exit from the neighborhood. The phone rang. Nobody moved. Enerria looked across the living room and saw Tammy furious like an uncontrollable flame that was spreading and burning everything it touched and any movement or word had been said would be enough fuel to keep the fire going for days. A lady on the answering machine started talking: Hello? This is Janise, I just want to make sure if everyone was alright? Is any aid or assistance needed? Because I can com—“No, we are alright Janis” Tammy answered the phone with a calm and steady voice. “Everything is being taken care of; we’re getting ready for bed now so good night, and I’m sorry for any inconveniences that I’ve brought to you. Uh huh. Alright. Okay. Good night now. We will. You too. Bye.” Tammy placed the phone back on the receiver and took and a deep breath.

Tammy turned and smiled at her little sister. “Are you guys okay?” Tammy said while taking another deep breath, “That gave us all a little scare.”

“Yeah we are ok,” Boniest said

“I’m sorry that happened, but Lulu came and saved us all,” Tammy bent over to rub Lulu’s head.

“Yeah, I love Lulu, and this is why we should have more animals with teeth,” Daria laughed.

“What happened? Why did things get so crazy? You always leave the house happy, so what changed everything?” Boniest demanded, saying all the things Enerria was thinking. The tension in the house slowly started to fall back in place.

“Well, that crazy guy started drinking and got even more retarded and that’s why you should never drink because we don’t like people purposely making themselves stupid for their own satisfaction,” Tammy gave out a cheesy smile hoping that Boniest would take her reasoning.

“Oh yeah, he was definitely retarded,” Daria chuckled, creating a domino effect that had everyone laughing. “Did you see how he ran?” Daria continued.

“Well, he got bit in the leg; how else was he supposed to run?” Boniest added and burst out laughing.

“I hate males.” Enerria mumbled. Tammy slowly stopped laughing and stared at Enerria.

“Hey you guys, why don’t you two straighten up the room while I’ll talk to cousin Enerria for a moment. Ok?”  The twins continued their conversation while they cleaned up the living room.

Tammy went inside Enerria's room to talk to her.

“Why didn’t you move when I really needed you? What if Lulu wasn’t here? I don’t want to think what would have happened. As big as you are, you can take down twenty men. What do you have to say?” Enerria just stood in silence. “No apology? Hmm? I don’t understand. Your room is an Alice in Wonder Land mess; you talk about death and how much you hate guys, but you had a chance to take out all your anger that you have for males and you blew it.”

“There is a reason why I hate guys,” Enerria said slowly.

“Well, what is it? You’re not the only one with issues. Everyone in this house has something wrong, but you don’t know how to deal with yours.”

“I’m trying to deal with it, but it’s hard for me to handle this on my own.”

“What is it about then? Tell me!”

Enerria got quiet. “It’s nothing,” she mumbled.

“No,” Tammy's voice started to get low, and she breathed slowly. “I’m listening.”

“That’s the first” Enerria said “Nobody ever tries to listen to me”

“You never speak up, not unless you’re forced to.”

“I’m never given an opportunity to talk.”

“Well you have one now and stop beating around the bush and say what’s been bothering you.”

Enerria’s throat got dry as if all the moisture was being used for the tears that were forming. “It’s nothing” her voice crumbled.

“Enerria! Why don’t you just tell me?”

The front door opened and a loud echo rumbled the house full of laughter.

“We didn’t win anything. We lost all our money” Grandma shouted. Enerria took a deep breath and left her room to greet her family. Tammy followed.

“Where did you guys go? It’s 1:59 in the morning? Does bingo really stay open that long?” Boniest said.

“Oh yes it does,” Enerria's aunt said with a big grin on her face. “It stays open as long as I want it,” the aunt said, making herself and grandma laugh.

Enerria lay in bed petting Lulu, and she started to realize that Lulu was turning into bones and that it been hard for her to get around the house lately. Enerria got out of bed and Lulu followed her to check on the dog food dish to see if it was empty; she was surprised to see it was full. Enerria rubbed Lulu's head and smiled. “Your food dish isn’t empty. Are you eating? Oh, I just hope that you are not anorexic. I bet you are. What else could be the reason why you are not eating?”

Enerria walked down the two steps to enter her grandmother’s bedroom. “Grandma, I think there is something wrong with Lulu; she is very thin and she hasn’t been eating,” Enerria said in a hushed voice.

“She must have got worms or something sweetie; I’m going to go to the pet store and get her some medicine. Lulu is old, dear,” Grandma replied.
 

Enerria walked in the kitchen where she saw piles of dirty dishes in the sink, and a dirty stove. The refrigerator had dozens of papers over lapping each other with ornaments, decorated magnets, and baby pictures of the twins. The crown of the refrigerator was created with boxes of cereal; the dusty old boxes in the back were covered over by the newer boxes. The table didn’t really have a surface; it was just good for holding newspaper and unwanted stuff. In the center of the table was a bowl of rotten fruit and ketchup packages. Enerria saw her grandmother looking in the cabinets for something sweet.

“Did you ever get Lulu that medicine, Grandma? Do you remember me asking you about it? It’s been two weeks.”

“Oh, I forgot. I haven’t gotten it yet, sweetie. I’ll get it today. But since you’re here, I wanted to ask you what you want for Christmas because I didn’t get you anything on your birthday.”

I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday. I hate to celebrate anything. All celebrating ever does is create drama that I want to avoid. I hate the yelling...

“She wanted to repaint her room,” Tammy said, speaking for Enerria who was quiet and lost in thought. “What’s wrong with my dog, Enerria?” Tammy said.

“She's sick. She's losing a lot of weight.”

Tammy looked down at Enerria’s feet to look at Lulu. “Come here baby. Let mommy see you,” Tammy patted her thighs to get Lulu's attention. Lulu slowly moved, looking worse than ever as if she was made out of nothing but twigs and pebbles. “Poor baby, you’re going to get better soon.”
 

Winter break had just started and the twins were spending the night at their older sister’s apartment. Tammy left to go to a party; Grandma was taking advantage of the silence and was getting the rest she always wanted. Enerria’s aunt was catching up on movies on the living room couch.

“It’s just you and me, Lulu.” Enerria smiled looking down at Lulu who was always at her side. “The medicines seem to be working. You started eating again which makes me happy to know that I’ve helped you. You’re still thin but soon you will be back to normal. Thank you for hanging in there for me. I don’t know what I would do if you were gone.” Enerria looked around her cluttered room that only expressed her mind. “Soon all of this will be different.” She stared at the painting material lying on the floor, then stared at Lulu. “I wonder how I am going to paint this room if you’re going to be in the way. I’ll figure something out; I’m going to have you locked out of my room.”

Enerria started to set her room up, so she could start painting first thing in the morning. There was continuing scratching at the door that slowly turned into frantic whimpering and scratching.

“Lulu, shut up; you know what I’m doing!” The noise on the other side of the door got louder. “Darn it, Lulu.” Enerria opened her locked door to let the dog in. Lulu looked up with a wagging tail to prove her victory. Enerria just smiled and placed Lulu on the bed. “Don’t move. I don’t want you in my way right now.”

Enerria moved her dresser, bed, and television to the center of her room. She emptied out her closet and placed everything on her bed. She stared at her creative work. “Lulu, it wasn’t that long ago that I just put all this stuff in here.” Before she was able to pull anything off the wall, her grandmother yelled to tell her that dinner was ready and that her food was getting cold. Enerria left to get herself a plate and saw that her aunt left the living room and made her way back into her cave like room. Heading back to her room, she opened her door and saw something from the corner of her room rush across to her closet. In reflex, Enerria quickly slammed the door getting Lulu agitated on the bed barking at what she couldn’t see. She realized it wasn’t a furry cockroach with a tail, but a mouse which gave her great relief. Enerria opened the door a crack and called for Lulu to come to her.

Enerria had made herself a place on the couch to sleep on, and a little area for Lulu to sleep next to her on the floor. Hours passed and everyone was sleeping. Enerria had awoken to the footsteps of her grandmother walking with her cane. She looked at the clock on the cable box and saw that it said 3:45 am. Enerria didn’t say anything but just watched her grandmother walk to the front door with Lulu leading her. Well that’s strange that Lulu didn’t wake me up to take her to the bathroom. She knows that grandma doesn’t have the patience for her to mark every area of grass with her scent.

A couple of minutes later, grandma got tired of waiting outside in the cold for Lulu, so she rushed Lulu back in the house. Enerria smiled watching Lulu come back into the house to lie next to her. Grandma slowly made her way back in her room. Enerria couldn’t sleep, so she looked at the clock which showed it was 3:55 am. The living room was dark but she was able to make out Lulu’s body on the floor. Lulu seemed to be having a tough time getting to sleep too because her body just jumped in a rigid way, but then looked relaxed and peaceful. Enerria got up to use the restroom, but once she exited, she realized she didn’t felt the warmth of Lulu's body pressing against the tips of her toes.

A million thoughts were passing through Enerria’s mind, and she began to worry. Enerria’s heart started to pound as she slowly walked in the dark hallways and made her way to the living room. She could see Lulu's body lying on the floor in the most passive looking position. “Lulu?” Enerria slowly tiptoed her way to turn on the living room light. “Lulu” Enerria said a little louder.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” grandma said, hearing Enerria's worries.

“I think Lulu's dead.”

“Lulu's not dead; I just let her out a while ago.”

“Grandma, she is not moving!”

Enerria stared at Lulu just hoping that she was in a deep sleep. “Any moment now, you are going to wake up and everything is going to be back to normal—no everything is going to get better. I don’t want you to leave me, Lulu. It’s not Christmas yet. New Year is coming. You don’t know if I’m going to get my diploma. You don’t know what’s going to happen to me when you’re gone. Please wake up. I don’t want you to die on me. Your life means something to me.”

Grandma made her way back to the living room and saw Enerria hovering over Lulu. Enerria looked at grandma to confirm Lulu’s fate.

“Let’s look here,” Grandma said landing on the arm of the couch.  “Lulu is not dead, sweetie. Get up Luuluuuu!” Grandma said while poking the nonmoving animal with her cane, hoping a little nudge was what the animal needed to wake up. Seconds passed and grandma came to a conclusion. “Hmm, I guess she did pass on, sweetie. I don’t know how because I just let her out to use the restroom a minute ago” Grandma looked up to see Enerria's eyes building up, but nothing came out. “We can’t have her body lie here, so I want you to go in my room to get a box that was left over in my closet and just place her in there until morning where you can dig and bury her.” Grandma's voice was soft with concern.

Feeling like her heart was a weighted iron and her feet were made out of glass, Enerria stumbled slowly to keep her balance; the air felt like thick syrup rushing to her lungs, pulling more weight on her heart. Her eyes were dazed; there was nothing clicking right between her mind and her body. Enerria made her way to her grandmother’s room to retrieve the box.

Standing over the lifeless mammal, Enerria watched over it. “You had such a great spirit. You were always there for me. I won’t be mad at you if you come back now. I’ll just say it was a mean trick you pulled on me.” She bent down to lift the body; she felt the softness of her coat and it felt the same as it always did. Maybe Lulu is in a coma? Enerria thought. The moment Enerria lifted the animal she felt the lifeless head crease over her hand and Enerria finally accepted Lulu's fate.

“Grandma, Lulu is dead—she is dead!”

Hours later, the sun was struggling to appear through the heavy chalky sky. Enerria sat on the couch looking at the box that she had placed Lulu in. The house began to wake up when time passed. Those who had left yesterday hadn’t returned to the house. Enerria sat in the living room listening to her grandma and aunt’s conversation.

“That dog was so old. We had her since Enerria was three.” Enerria’s aunt said while ironing her clothes in grandma’s room.

“I know, poor thing. For a moment I thought that old fart was going to outlive me” grandma chuckled. “It’s about time. That leaves one less mouth to feed around here.”

“Oh I bet Enerria is hurting. I don’t know why; Lulu was just a dirty old dog.”

Didn’t anyone care about you, Lulu? Enerria thought to herself.

“So, Enerria when are you going to bury Lulu?” asked her aunt.

Enerria paused and told her aunt that she would bury her when Tammy came back. Enerria left the couch with hidden frustration to paint her room. Standing there in her room, she started to build disgust towards everything. She walked towards her wall staring at the things she had placed and created that no longer had a purpose; her hand pressed against the caution tape that slowly turned into a tight squeeze.

Enerria felt the adrenaline rushing over her body like a cold chill and she started pulling and yanking the caution tape off her walls. Thumb tacks flew everywhere. Breathing roughly, she jumped on her bed, looking at the nets of balloons hovering over her head; she grabbed the nets and thrashed them onto the floor. Throwing hangers, clothes, and shoes at her walls and piñata, she clinched her hands with so much regret and hate that tears were forming and she began to sob. Heavy blocks of tears fell, and she felt so ashamed by her own emotion that it made her quickly try to dry up her eyes. Enerria's heartbeat started to increase. She looked across her room on her bed, to see the piñata still hanging; mocking her attempt to knock it down. Enerria slowly got off the bed stepping on the clothes and balloons popping them as she made her way over. Enerria grabbed a hold of one end of the piñata and pulled it down; her hold on the piñata was forceful. She could feel the amount of air pouring down her lungs with every memory that went through her head—all the pain that she had been holding and avoiding could no longer hide within her.

Standing there with a piñata clenched in her hands, Enerria heard the front door open and the voice of her cousin Tammy enter the house and the quick hurry of footsteps of her aunt eager to tell the dreadful news. Enerria waited motionless as if time had frozen on her part; the door opened and Tammy entered with such grief and sorrow.

“Lulu always loved you more than me even though she was my dog, and I hated it. I feel bad that I never spent enough time with her. How are you doing? I see your room is a wreck.” Tammy walked toward the bed dodging the balloons, tacks, and clothes on the floor.

“I’m tired, Tammy.”

“I know. I’m tired too. Why don’t you get some rest, and I’ll help you paint your room later.” Tammy signaled Enerria to sit on the cluttered messy bed.

“No, I’m tired of being this way. I want to be happier than this, I want to be able to take care of myself, I want to get out of this stupid house, I want to be stronger, and I really want to be a better person; I’m just tired of this all.” Enerria let go of the piñata and sat next to Tammy.

“I hope you understand why I leave this house every chance I get. This house will make you crazy. It’s like we have the Amityville curse on it for women.” Tammy slightly smiled, hoping that she would put a smile on Enerria, but she failed. “So, how are you going to achieve this goal to be the person you want to be?”

“I don’t know. I guess,” she paused. “I guess I’ll start speaking up more,” she mumbled.

Tammy just stared at Enerria. “I’m leaving. There was another fight at the party, and I’m going to get out of this god forsaken town and move to L.A. I have had everything planned out for the past couple of weeks. I’m going to be roommates with a friend and hopefully start going to school there. I can’t take this house anymore, either.”

“Are you really leaving? You were the only one that took the time to figure me out.”

“Yeah, I’m leaving. I’m not doing anything here. I took a year off of college, and I want to start over somewhere else. It’s not too late for you to start over, either.”

“Tammy, I don’t really know how to start over, or where to begin. The reason why I hate guys is because I was molested by our neighbors when I was younger. Being abused physically and mentally by every family member of this household doesn’t help either. I don’t trust anyone and it is hard for me to trust.” Enerria sat on her bed with her fists clenched in her lap. Tears strolled down her face to make little splashes of drops on her hands. She huffed and took in all the air that her lungs could carry. “I don’t know how I can be happy.”

“I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I knew how everyone would react, so I felt why bother with drama that’s not going to go anywhere; I can handle it on my own, I thought. What’s done is done. They can’t do anything about what happened to me now, and I’m sure they won’t.”

“I understand, but I just wish you told me. I’m sorry for hurting you back then. You always got more attention than me. Everyone was worried that you had some critical condition from your mother’s death because you never talked. When I was told that I was going to have a cousin from Texas living with me, I really didn’t think much about it. I was abused by my older sister, so I passed it down to you.”

The room got quiet. “When do you want to bury Lulu?” Enerria said.

“Let's wait till tomorrow. We both need some time to recover for a bit.”

The sun's rays peek through the frosted colored clouds and slightly tickled the skin of Enerria; she got up off the living room couch to look out the window then headed to her room to get dressed for a busy day.